I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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