We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
