and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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