So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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