Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
