Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
