It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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