Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
