Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
