So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
