Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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