Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
