didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
