Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
