maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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