You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
