You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
