your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize