He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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