Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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