Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
