you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
