We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
