the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
