Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
