I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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