The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
