What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
