oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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