I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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