i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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