When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize