Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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