I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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