Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
