I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
These tits shall not be calmed
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
