Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
