So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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