why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
