Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
