haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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