They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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