So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
