i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
