# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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