Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
