I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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