Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
