That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
