I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
