I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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