you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
