so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My ass is underappreciated
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
