I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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