just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
