I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
