Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
