So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
birth control should be required to get into college
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
