Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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