I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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