you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
