ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize