after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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