My girlfriend figured out who you are.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
