you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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